The Superpower of Sensitivity 🫐

"You're so sensitive"

That word has always seemed to have negative connotations. As if feeling is a disease to be avoided. Like the expression of emotion is the worst thing that we can do.

To be sensitive isn’t weakness, though. It’s powerful to be sensitive to the needs of myself and the needs of others. Mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Sensitivities are formed through experiences that teach us something we didn’t know before. They can help us navigate through circumstances and situations, but when we avoid them, we end up perpetuating the same mistakes.

The world has taught us that to be emotionless is a sign of strength. They'll promote things like..

"No one cares about your problems" = Your experiences aren't worthy of being heard.

"Words can't hurt you" = You were made to absorb hurtfulness and pain.

 "Don’t let people in" = You are meant to walk this journey alone.

"Put up a wall of steel" = Enduring hardship and negativity is better than being thought of as.. sensitive.

I went through most of my life believing that emotions were irrelevant. I failed to express how I felt because I simply didn't think anyone cared. And when people did care, it became impossible for me to receive. The shadows from the walls I put up made my world dark, forcing me to unintentionally focus on all the things I was trying to keep out. I was stifled. Suffocating from my hyper-vigilance and spiraling from trying to prove my toughness. But anything was better than being thought of as… sensitive.

"The shadows from the walls I put up made my world dark, forcing me to unintentionally focus on all the things I was trying to keep out."

Over time, I realized the walls I put up were robbing me of experiencing goodness, beauty, and joy. At the time, I wasn’t able to learn from pain and hurt. I could only try my hardest to reject it while still absorbing each blow.

I began to learn a lot about myself once I abandoned my defenses. A recent physical fall off a bike followed by laughter reminded me that I can’t control everything that happens, but I can control the way I respond.

I began to learn that I could have joy even in the middle of pain. That I could find beauty in betrayal. How did I learn this? By allowing Jesus into my life, and then into my heart. By learning about the strength of being a sensitive woman.

He showed me that my sensitivity isn’t just for me. It enables me to set an atmosphere that welcomes love, peace, and purpose. An environment prepared for His presence.

"Being sensitive has taught me that not only do my emotions matter, they were made to be expressed."

Being sensitive has taught me that not only do my emotions matter, they were made to be expressed. Maybe not always to others directly, but consistently to myself in conversation with the Holy Spirit (the Spirit of Jesus, our Helper, Advocate, Counselor, and Friend).

This process has made me softer, more gentle, more willing to give freely and more able to receive what God has for me in this life. Embracing sensitivity has helped me empty out my heart of negativity, leaving open space to be filled with beauty and joy. It’s turned the grey wall of protection into a free flowing river that welcomes provision and knows how to release the broken pieces that land on its banks - and process the experience to create something new.

I’ll call it emotional composting. Repurposing the pain to provide fertilization for growth. So that when the emotions are released, they're helpful instead of harmful.

It all starts with allowing ourselves to feel. To acknowledge the pain instead of blocking it out. To admit to being hurt, surrendering every emotion, and learning from the process along the way.

"True confidence doesn’t come from being unbothered. It comes from identifying what does bother us, processing it, expressing it, releasing it, and knowing that the pain that may come from difficult experiences doesn’t change who we are."

It may seem like tough work, and at the start, it is. But I can confidently say, it’s much easier than carrying the weight that comes with pretending like we’re bulletproof.

True confidence doesn’t come from being unbothered. It comes from identifying what does bother us (not complaining about it), processing it, expressing it, releasing it, and knowing that the pain that may come from difficult experiences doesn’t change who we are. True confidence is honest, and that’s powerful. The more sensitive we are, the more honest we can become. The more honest we are, the more we invite the freshness that comes with leading a deep, open life.

One practical tip - the next opportunity you get to share how you really feel, don’t be pressured to answer in that moment. Take the time to actually go process your thoughts and emotions. Invite the Holy Spirit to reveal the roots of your feelings and ask for His help to navigate them. Find comfort in knowing you have a counselor and comforter with you at all times.

I hope you’re encouraged to feel today. I hope the breeze feels stronger, the air smells fresher, and the sun shines brighter.

For a poetic journey of feeling, check out TRIUMPH, my debut book of poetry. You'll find thoughtful poems and guided reflections that tell the story of releasing pain and receiving healing. Available now: